Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos - 1990 - Nintendo Entertainment System

Ninjas are great. They’re flexible, fitting your fight scene needs whatever they may be.  A single ninja will be an expert, superhuman
stealth-killing master, and yet a pack of ninjas will provide endless, non-threatening kill fodder.  Ninjas are the Stormtrooper Effect writ large.

Not only are ninjas the socket wrenches of badassery, but they’re just so darn neat.  They seamlessly combine triple-dog seriousness with total goofiness.  Take Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos. That’s an awesomely grimly silly name. But it gets even better. In Japan, home of the ninja,  the game had the jaw-droppingly great title of Legend of the Ninja Dragon Sword II: The Demonic Sword of Darkness.  I dare you to show me a better game title than that one.  And you know what?  Everything about ninjas is like that!

However, ninjas are in a bit of decline lately.  The internet has a tendency to take ironic things and just napalm the fuck out of them with overplay until you are so sick of the topic that you want to kick your computer in the anthropomorphized face until it is spitting out bloody teeth, forcing it for the love of Joe Shlabotnik to fucking shut up about Chuck Norris in UR base belonging to us while eating my balls.  Ninjas have been hit hard by
this phenomenon.  It can be hard to dig on ninjas in this ugly world of postirony.

Don’t give a crap.  Still love them.  In Ninja Gaiden II you can throw ninja stars and run through people with
your sword and cling to walls and cast magic potions and make friggin magic ninja clones of your bad self.  Also, you get to ride a train, which should be in every side-scroller.  Who could ask for anything more?

This game also has cutscenes that are far slicker than the NES is supposed to have, and it also has a tendency to freeze up on me partway through Act II. Stupid cheap old NES cartridge.  Oh, well.  Kick Master is better anyways.

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