Observe the IGN poll to the right. You'll notice rather quickly, that it's stupid. There's nothing immediately significant about that, as all website polls are stupid, but this one is special. The worst thing about it is that among its choices, there is no option for "BLOW IT OUT YOUR PASTY WHITE ASS, YOU SLACKER-ASS WANNABE HONKY CUNT/FUCK."

This dumbass poll is a symptom of an inexplicable disease that's plagued the gamer culture for too fucking long. You can see it when you flip to G4, and you see the program hosts have nicknames like "GMoney" and "TDub." You can see it in movies like The Pineapple Express, where a doughy white man in a neckbrace cocks a shotgun and says "Thug life." When did well-fed, middle-class, white young slackers suddenly become obsessed with the inverse and alien world of gangsta rap? Why didn't anybody warn me about it? I might have been able to prepare myself. Now I can only weep.

The ignorance of it, the stupidity of it, the sheer, monumental, awesome DUMBNESS of it strikes me blind. I'm tired of this shit. Tired tired tired TIRED of this shit. If your skin is lighter than a cup of coffee, I don't want you putting your fist out so I can punch it. I don't want to hear you say "Oh snap." I don't want you calling me "brah" or "dawg." And I definitely don't want to see any websites run by fat white guys to have words like "Is yo games sweet" on them. Stop pretending to be black!

I think the late and great George Carlin said it best when he said, "White guys, you're never going to be as cool as black guys. You're white, and you're lame. It's a fucking law of nature…Be yourself, be white, be proud, be lame, and GET THE FUCK OFF THE DANCE FLOOR!"

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