When in the course of human events it become neccesary for a bunch of dudes to get really pissed off and shit they need someone to be really angry at.  We, the denziens of Angry-Gamer.net, and also of Ninjabattle.com, Whatwasthatgame.com, and gamesmachine.org, have decided that the ragtag collection of companies known collectivly as "The Video Game Industry", and also everyone else even remotely involved with video games who we don't like, are it.  The people to be angry at, that is.  We, the aforementioned dudes, have, in our hubris  / folly / wisdom / bitchyness (select one), compiled this list of reasons why we hate video games and everyone even remotly connected with them and their families.

Let it be known that the Game Industry have:

1.  Conspired to take from us the hard earned monies which are the fruits of our labor by releasing a bunch of video games and then making most of them suck, thus tricking us into buying the sucky games and get all angry at them and shit.

2.  Consipired to destroy the genre of games known as point-and-click adventure games, culminating with whatever division it was of Lucasarts LTD. that made The Curse of Monkey Island and Day of the Tentacle being axed in favor of making that shitty Star Wars MMO.

3.  Releasing a new version of every major sports title under the sun every year that is functionally identical to the version released the year before and that still sucks as much as the last one did.

4.  Being graphics obsessed morons who cream themselves over shitty games just because they look minutely better than games released last year.

5.  Conspiring to sell us back our childhood memories at today's retail prices.

6.  Not selling us back the parts of our childhood that we really liked, such as Chrono Trigger, but giving us every God damn Final Fantasy released for the SNES.

7.  Conspiring to make us pay large sums of our hard earned monies to fully play games we already own, via the hellish mechanism known as "Downloadable Content."

8.  Releasing a bunch of shitty games nobody cares about and hyping them like they are the second coming of the Christ.

Furthermore let it be known that the fan-whores of the Games Industry have:

1.  Aided the Games Industry in all of the crimes detailed above.

2.  Rejected awesome, fun, colorful, inovative, kickass games in favor of shitty games with shiny graphics.

3.  Lapped up the shit that the Games Industry shits out like it is God's very own sweat.

4.  Refusing to buy awesome, fun, colorful, inovative, kickass games because they use many bright colors.

5.  Mocking awesome, fun, colorful, inovative, kickass games as being "kiddy" because they don't let you kill something every five seconds.

6.  Making online multiplayer games suck by incessent cheating, the copious use of racial slurs to demean others, calling other people campers for protecting their objectives, spawn camping, snaking, and a bunch of other shit that makes us want to kill them with a rusty butter knife.

7.  And a bunch of other stuff that we cannot remember right now, but that pisses us off a bunch.

Let it be known that we, as angry gamers, can no longer in good conscience stand buy and allow the insidious forces of The Video Game Industry and gamers continue to make things suck and piss us off.  We must be bold!  We must take action!  We must write irate articles and post them to the internet!  Thus will the full force of our impotent anger be unleashed against those who would harm us.

We will stand firm and tall.  And we will be very, very angry.

Love,

Angry-Gamer.net

Did you enjoy this article? Please bookmark it onto: