Well, that about wraps it up for Angry Gamer! NOW BEFORE YOU START SLITTING YOUR WRISTS AND JUMPING IN THE BATHTUB, hear me out. For one thing, Angry Gamer will continue - kinda. We'll get to that in
a minute, but the important thing is that I'm out of here.
So rather than release a new game, or outsource a 3rd person Duke Nukem game to someone else, as happened on PlayStation and N64, 3D Realms have instead just stuck 1996's Duke Nukem 3D onto XBLA
This week the gang play some killer 2D games. Up this week: Worms Open Warfare 2, Geometry Wars 2 and OH SHIT SON ITS DEATH TANK!!! DEATH TANK ON XBLA ANGRY GAMER EXCLUSIVE!!!!!
Look, I know this site has been a bit Spore-centric lately, and I'm really hoping it'll stop soon, for no other reason than I can uninstall the damn thing and free up some hard drive space LOOK FOR SOME PEOPLE 4 GIGABYTES IS NOTHING BUT I'M NOT MADE OF MONEY. Anyway I want to talk about the problems I'm having with it.
God damn it, Electronic Arts, you're making a chump and a fool out of me. I've spent the last few months singing your praises, even going so far as to declare a cease fire between us after several years of bitter fighting. I think half my game time so far this year has been with EA games. But now you've gone and fucked it all up again, you stupid jerks.
This week, the gang play Mario games. Why? Why the hell not, and mind your God damn business. The games are Yoshi's Island, Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Galaxy. Ah, lasagna…
Top Gun: The Second Mission - 1990 - Nintendo Entertainment System
Top Gun: The Second Mission is the sequel to Top Gun, a video game based on a movie with no sequel. This game is called "The Second Mission", despite the fact that the first game was divided into four missions. Presumably, then, this isn't a true sequel, but rather an expansion of the second stage of the first game, which in turn, features events not featured in the movie upon which it is based. The chronology is very confusing.
Can you believe that 2008 would see two games receive perfect “10” ratings from two of the largest, most respected video game websites, two sites that hadn’t given 10s to any game in a decade? Weren’t we lucky; first we got Grand Theft Auto IV, a lengthy adventure with a huge, detailed world and great animation, but also a share of irritations in the form of a silly socializing system and weird, weighty controls.
Top Gun is a aerial
combat game for the NES, that, once upon a time was so cool that it
took my breath away, but in the years since, I’ve lost that
loving feeling. I'm not gonna sit here and blow sunshine up your
ass, this game has not aged well.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles -1989 - Nintendo Entertainment SystemWhen it comes to kiddie merchandising, it don’t get awesomer than the Ninja Turtles. There have been other insanely popular crap children’s products, but none as in your face gleefully moronic as the TMNT.They were half-man/half-turtle superheroes, named after renaissance artists, who use lethal weapons in non-lethal combat, and who eat pizza at every opportunity that presents itself.The world at large were unaware of their existence, despite the fact that they were big green turtle monsters who got into daily fights with the forces of Dimension X, and they frequently flew a big blimp labeled “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”.This is good stuff.
The good book says to love thy neighbour. And this might be true to a certain extent. However, if being charming and witty fails to win them over, you can always resort to beating the crap out of them and eating them if you so choose. Are your neighbours a valuable asset always willing to come to your aid when the need arises? Or are they a resourse to be exploited when ever your stomach growls. I for one chose the latter. The weird horse looking things looked very tasty, and in my defense I needed to put food on the table so I would be able to call upon the reserves for the up-coming battle. All thoughts of friendship went out the window when the sneaky little bastards stole my food while i was engaged in social pleasantries with their chieftain discussing the benefits of a mutual defence. "Hrrm, that looks like some tasty horse thing meat." I say. "Oh yes, we stole it while you were getting drunk and hitting on our large and ample women".
